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The LA Report Blog


August 31, 2008


An imagined debate between the GOP and the Democrats about the wisdom of John McCain's pick for Vice President, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin:

PRO: McCain has picked a new face, a fresh voice, to help him change Washington.
CON: McCain has handed Obama a huge gift by picking someone with even less experience than Barack has, therefore nullifying the experience issue. Sarah, you're manna from heaven!

PRO: Palin gives the McCain ticket a more youthful feel, since she is so young and attractive. This helps counteract the youthful vitality of Obama.
CON: Palin's youth and vitality makes McCain look that much older by comparison. And McCain's age makes Palin seem even more inexperienced. They look like one of those Hollywood May-September sugar-daddy couples. Wait, that was wrong. Make that January-December.

PRO: But Palin is so young and beautiful, voters will be distracted from McCain's age.
CON: Voters will worry even more about McCain's age, since it makes it more likely that this young, inexperienced ex-model will have to replace him one day.

PRO: Palin will help McCain win over disgruntled Hillary supporters. I mean, she's a woman!
CON: Palin is young and attractive, therefore the opposite of Hillary.

PRO: That was a low blow.
CON: Oh yeah? See Bill laughing and nodding his head over there in the corner?

PRO: Well, polls show Palin gave McCain a big bump.
CON: She gave him a big bump, all right. Viva Viagra, Vivacious Veep!

PRO: McCain has now appeased the GOP conservatives by picking a pro-life conservative.
CON: The GOP conservatives don't have time to go over Palin's views, they are too busy going over her, um, assets. Now they have to deal with sexual urges they thought were long dormant. Talk about Alaskan drilling!

PRO: Palin has been a vocal proponent of opening the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge for more drilling, meaning more oil for Americans and hence lower prices. Palin pick helps pocketbooks.
CON: You mean pickpockets. Palin is in bed with oil, literally. Her husband works for energy giant BP. How can McCain fight the oil companies now? Voters will realize that the drilling (of holes in our pockets) shall remain under McCain.

PRO: Palin holds a Bachelor of Science degree in journalism from the University of Idaho.
CON: I guess that means she'll be able to ask herself the tough questions. (Like: how can a former beauty queen keep looking hot under the heat of the White House Press Corps?)

PRO: McCain reinforced his "maverick" image by picking someone unexpected and risky as VP.
CON: McCain reinforced his "dangerous" image by picking someone unqualified to be President.

PRO: They say Sarah Palin has a good sense of humor.
CON: What, Michael Palin wasn't available?

PRO: If McCain loses, at least he gets into the history books by picking the first female GOP VP.
CON: Not if. When.